Sport, Difference and Human Development/ Desporto, Diferença e Desenvolvimento Humano : From "It only happens to others... " to "I am a proud Sitting Volleyball player"

“I just hate myself. I hate me, because I hate this strange body, a body with no legs. I am awful! Life can never, will never be the same again. I mean, who is going to want me like this? I am a woman without legs. How am I going to take care of my children and how can my husband love me, like this?”

See, Carla, my two legs had to be cut off because I was unfortunate enough to eat some food with a nasty virus. Nobody can ever be prepared to that! When I woke up in the hospital without my two legs, I just wanted to die! And those thoughts were going round and around in my head all the time!
But day by day, I just kept going. I was going every day to physio during one year to learn how to walk again with my prosthetic legs and one day my physiotherapist told me about Sitting Volleyball. “No way! I will never show my stumps to anyone! They are just too ugly to be shown! I can’t! I am so ashamed!” When I realised that other people who had their legs amputated were going to that sport thing however, I decided to give it a go. This was one year after that unfortunate "accident" with food.
I asked my dear friend from childhood to go with me to training… I thought that probably she would say no...But she accepted...and finally I understood why she was avoiding me. "I am so happy I can be with you and we can do something fun together. I was so sad for you. I just did not know how to help you dealing with something like that."-she told me after a couple of practices.

I must tell you, it was amazing! Many people had amputations, other players had other impairments and many others did not have any impairment. There were eyes, lots of eyes looking around, but nobody seemed to be bothered by the look of stumps where there should be legs instead. Those eyes were not judging anyone. All over the walls, there were “legs”, most of them still dressed with the trousers which people use to hide their impairment in their “normal” lives.

In the sports hall, people were getting undressed and changing into their sport clothes in front of everybody; they were putting their socks on the stumps and talking about it as if it was the most natural thing in the world. “Hey, come here! What’s your name? What happened to you? Tell us?” My accident, the usual “elephant in the room” became suddenly just something that happen, similar to the other’s something that happen which changed the lives of many other people in the Sitting Volleyball training. And you know what shocked me the most? They were in fact happy! Well, I guess they were as happy as anyone can be… Without saying anything, I just received the best lesson of my life. That I was alive, that I had an opportunity to enjoy life with the people I loved, and that I had no right to waste it by feeling sorry for myself! And feeling the blood running wild in my veins… feeling physically exhausted and my muscles aching... that was just wonderful! I still had a body! A body that works!
I wish I could have known sitting volleyball before! I always thought of disability as something tragic! Something that just happened to others, not me! I guess I never thought I could one day lose my two legs! So, I just stayed away from it! I wish I had learned before that there is life after tragic events like mine! I wish I had known more people with disabilities at school! I wish I had played more disabled sports…Perhaps I would be more grateful and happy to be alive, even though I lost my legs! Anyway, now I am ok. I have a new family in my club and I am even proud of my prostheses! I am now a Sitting Volleyball player!